© Suburban Journals of Chicago cartoon by Rob Bou-Saab

Has teenage dating met its demise?
by Claire Lombardo

OPRF senior Anna Palmer doesn’t think so. “I see so many couples at school. It's like everywhere I turn, there’s another couple.”

    The adolescent relationship of today is a far cry from that of baby boomer days, but according to many OPRF teens, dating hasn’t declined in the least. In fact, one student argued that present-day teens have more serious relationships than their parents did in the 1960s and 1970s. “I think dating has become more serious in high school than when my parents were there,” said Palmer. “They had flings, but not really relationships.”

    As the popularity of social dating waned in the late 1960s
and early 1970s, more casual concepts of dating began to emerge, such as “hooking up,” “hanging out,” or “group dating.” OPRF senior Ari Wengroff attested to the more casual nature of relationships at school. “Dating is completely different now from when my parents were dating,” she said. “I think that when our parents were dating they decided that they liked each other and then they just started to go out immediately whereas now people can like each other and be ‘together’ or ‘going out’ and not be ‘official.’ Everything now is much more complicated.”

    OPRF junior Steve Holt recognized the public physical interactions of his peers as a sure sign of relationship status. “There are a fair amount of the couples at the school,” said Holt. “Although you can only be sure when they are overtly displaying their affections.” Palmer evidently wanders the same hallways, claiming that high school has “gotten a lot worse with the PDA and groping in the halls, though maybe that comes with the high school couple thing.”

    According to a market-research survey of teens between the ages of 12 and 17, 12% of teenagers are currently in long-term (over one year) relationships, but 57% of teens are casually dating. “I do see a lot of couples at school,” said Wengroff. “I think as we get older and more towards senior year there are more couples, but during freshman and sophomore year you tend to see more groups.”

    Holt said that the state of the relationship depends entirely on the couple, and sometimes is driven by peer pressure. “Some people think they find definition by being in one, so they move vicariously from partner to partner in an attempt to feel complete,” he said. “Others recognize a good thing when they find it.”

    As the start of second semester approaches, so does the ultimate teenage milestone: prom. While the event is arguably more momentous for seniors, the OPRF prom also draws a select crowd of juniors, and in 2005 cited a total student attendance of over 700 people. For Palmer, the impending
prom raises date anxieties: “I’m kind of dreading it,” she said. “I don’t know who I’ll go with.”

    Both Wengroff and Holt believe that the concept of prom has lost its landmark status. “I don’t think senior prom has the same value as it used to,” said Wengroff. “I think that it’s still important and I plan on going with a group of friends and within that having a date of my own, but I think that if someone from school doesn’t go it isn’t a big deal. To each her own.” Holt agreed, approaching the idea with lackluster enthusiasm. “The ‘milestone’ has become a minimalized aspect as the nature of sex has become more casual among high schoolers,” he said. “I don’t know if I want to spend $200 on one night just to do it all over again my senior year.” And perhaps Holt is on the right track, considering the fact that the average amount of money spent on prom by one couple is around $1,300.

    With the supposed rise in maturity of today’s high school students, the issue of couples making the high school-to-college transition is also raised. “I've seen enough examples of it to think its a possibility, but for a lot of these couples I've seen around the hallway I doubt they could make such a jump,”
said Holt. “A lot of couples that I knew broke up for college, including me, so yeah, I think most break up,” said Palmer. Wengroff cited examples of friends who broke up over breaks from college. “The reality of long-distance relationships just seems to be much harder when couples actually get to college,” she said.

    And as for students meeting their future mate in college? Despite the fact that an overwhelming 83% of teenage girls say that they want to marry, it isn’t the first thing on their minds.
“I have no idea when I will meet my future mate,” said Palmer. “It’s not really talked about among my friends. I like to keep
an open mind, but right now I’m not concentrating on falling
in love.” Wengroff agreed: “I think it is a common belief that someone will find their ‘soulmate’ at college, but I don't know how likely that is to happen. I think more and more people are getting married in their thirties and meeting their mates at work or through friends.” Statistics show that young people are putting marriage on hold later and later. Now the average marriage age in the U.S. is 27, whereas 40% of American 19-year-olds were already married in 1960.

     Palmer summarized her thoughts on the dating scene optimistically: “I think it all depends on the person. I know plenty of people who have great high school relationships, and then I know some couples who don't deal well with the stress
of high school and implode. But I feel that high school relationships can be whatever they want to be. They can be really serious and strong relationships, and you can fall in love in high school. It can happen.”

Editors Note:
Names have been changed to protect the identity of persons
interviewed.  Many aspects of dating have not changed over
the years, yet some have and that will be addressed in another
story.